Expectant Parent Forums

hello,
i recently found out im pregnant and ive decided to go for abortion. Ive put alot of thought into it, and im aware of what im doing.And im going to do it. Im not ready to have a baby. Im only 17 and i have my life ahead of me. Please can someone please tell me how to do this, im doing the abortion on my own, no freinds or parents, and i dont really have the money for it. Can someone please help me?
thank you

Wow, hengela.... I don't know what I could say that would change your mind about actually get an abortion or not, but I definitely do NOT think you should do it on your own!!! That is so dangerous, what if you caused yourself great harm? You could bleed to death, or never be able to have future children... Please talk to a counselor, and friends before you decide to do anything further. Sometimes when we are in that position we don't think very clearly. Back when I first found out I was pregnant, I was in shock for at least a few weeks.

But I CAN tell you this. Even though getting pregnant definitely changed your life, it does NOT end it. I had my daughter a year ago this month, and placed her for adoption. I recently got married, and plan to have more kids in a few years. Hopefully I will go back to school also, and get a job I really love.

Please, for yourself, think very hard on what it is you're going to do. I know it's hard to ask for help, but I talked to a counselor when I was pregnant, before I went to Bethany, and she was really great. She helped me put things into perspective, and never judged me. I hope you can find someone to talk to about your situation.

Thinking of you, Amber

Hi,
I can't tell you how to go about getting an abortion but I can tell you that I know people who have had abortions for what they thought were all the right reasons but live with awful feelings of regret and guilt everyday--even though in some cases the abortion was years and years ago.

I too considered ending a pregnancy--I thought it would be an easy way out--I had college ahead of me--having a baby was not something I was prepared to do. I did decide to get all the information I could about every option open to me--single parenting, adoption as well as abortion--if I was going to make a choice I felt I needed to know what my choices really were. I ended up opting for adoption and have never regreted that--I can't imagine being able to live with the thought that I had ended a human life. There were lists and lists of people who were desperate for a baby and I thought--this is perfect--kind of like a win, win, win situation for me, the baby and them.

Your post said you were handling this on your own--you don't need to. I know a number you can call to talk about it all. It's a crisis pregnancy hotline--1-800-238-4269.

I know I have not given you the help you asked for, but I hope this post may be of some help to you.

Wishing the best for you, Kathy

Hengela--if you are sure that abortion is the right decision for you, or if you need someone to talk it over, I would call an agency like planned parenthood. They can give you some counseling and help you find an abortion provider.

God bless,
Teresa

Dear Hengela,

I have never been in your position, so I can't really know how you are feeling. However, a number of years ago, it looked like my dream was never going to come true - a dream of having children. My husband and I applied for adoption, and after what seemed like forever, we were given the most beautiful baby girl in the world. She was the answer to many prayers, and my dream did come true. She is now a grown-up mother of two (I am now a grandma!!), and recently went back to school to become a nurse. She has been a blessing to so many people, I wouldn't even be able to count them all.

Please think carefully about your choices. I will pray for you to make the best decision for all concerned.

God bless you .

Donna

Hi Hengela,
I am close to tears in reading your post about having an abortion. I can imagine some of the pain & confusion you were feeling at that time. I too faced an unplanned pregnancy and was inside the abortion clinic waiting to have the procedure done and my child & I were miraculously rescued!
I am wondering what course of action you did take. Did you have an abortion or are you still pregnant? I do not condemn you for having an abortion if you did, I want to point you in the direction of healing & wholeness. I just want you to know that you are being thought about and prayed for regardless of your choice or where you are right now...

I just wanted to say that doing it yourself is such an incredibly risky thing to do. I know you are desperate. There are resources out there to help you with the money for an abortion, if its' an issue. Simply look it up online... try google, or ask.com. In all honesty, doing it yourself is really hard and painful. I went through the same emotions as you in wanting to do it myself. I even researched it online.... in the end, I couldn't do it and actually ended up having my baby and giving it up for adoption. I hope this helps you. Like I said, money is no issue. There are resources. You just need to research them.

Hi there,

I don't know if you've already gone ahead with your plans for an abortion but I want you to know that you are not alone. Not many on this board will tell you that sometimes, it is the right decision to make.

Back in college, I had an abortion as I was not ready to be a mother, I did NOT have a stable relationship with the father and I had little support from him as well. I did not make the decision lightly but to this day, I am very glad I made the choice that I made. I do not regret it or live with guilt every day. My decision was tough but I got help from Planned Parenthood, my family, my doctor and those that loved me. I do not have post-traumatic stress syndrome and I didn't have any health problems due to the abortion. Some would have you believe that your future health, reproductive ability and even your future children's lives will be affected by the abortion. This is absolutely NOT true! There is no real connection between one abortion and future breast cancer either even though many people will tell you that there is. The medical community is very quick to tell you that there is no connection that has been proven.

It is important for you to do what is right for you and your personal situation. I am adopted and I adopted a baby boy from South Korea (through Bethany) and I can tell you that adoption is in many ways, wonderful. It isn't all ribbons and bows though but if you can carry your baby, that would be great. If you can't however - for whatever reasons, get the help you need from Planned Parenthood and know that you are not alone. You have your entire life ahead of you and trust me, you don't have to let an abortion destroy you. Planned Parenthood will even tell you how to get financial help if you have low funds or no support from family or the father.

Good luck to you - whatever you choose or chose to do.

Jen